Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. "I wish I had met you. You: "I have so much to do and not sure how I am going to get it all done.". 11. Everything you do is with excellence. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. Fascinating post in two regards. "How long have you been sober?". 1. Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. Express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. Disclaimer: The articles, blogs, testimonials and P.E.T. 2. Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? (I'd prefer "I'm really impressed with report - I can see how much effort you put in, and it's going to be helpful for the organisation". Just the way you look and react to your husband can give the impression that you are honored to be his wife. When my parents tell me that they are proud of me, I generally take it to mean that they recognize something I have done on my own merit as being worthy of praise. 4. implying a mentor relationship. A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. Compare: "Oh bear!" "How I do love you!" You haven't said who is speaking to whom. 2. If that's the case, I suggest a change of phrase. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. Praise does not help bring up children who have an internal belief in themselves, of self-worth. And John is left feeling confused and despondent. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" 10. You could also feel patronised. And Ill encourage them to be proud. After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. Be proud of who you are. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. I knew it, if no one was going to like this. I am very proud of you too; we all are. Its really a way of saying I am really the one who is special, Im the boss.and what it deserves is not thank you but rather, well kiss my ass you condescending bastard..get a lifethis proud of you nonsense is also related to people who have to say WELL GOOD FOR YOU when doing something mundane..like, someone catches me reading a book in publicoh, you are readingWELL, GOOD FOR YOU!! But is that really very useful? Im proud of myself, too. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. 15. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. Its 10 years later, and I hope that, by now, you have told your children, if you mean it, that you are proud of them. 4 . I am here for the same reason. Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. No. For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. This has always happened, but in a context like the current one, in which both rivalry and appearances are highly valued elements, it is very common for this class of individuals, educated to become this way, to appear. 3. I believe the effort has been worth it for my children, and our relationship. They know I mean: I am so impressed by what you did, and proud to be able to call myself your mother. If I said this to a friend it would mean the same thing. Date TBA. It isnt. So, the next time someone says Im proud of you, remember to take the time to think about how you want to respond. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. Thank you for your kind words.. 11. 6. However, is this what happens? If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. But I would also add another category: people who know you well *because* they have worked with you and even for you for a long time. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? After all, you were the one who put the effort into writing the report you did the research, you put the paper together. I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. And they both say that you're over and done with me. As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. ), Seven Thoughts to Help You Parent Peacefully, Hints on Maintaining a Harmonious Household. So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. The phrase, in my belief, implies my contribution as a parent. Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? Proverbs 29:23 A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. Who is saying this to whom? Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. And why should I stop using this phrase? Who are children then living their life for - themselves, or their parent? It makes a difference I think. Its my feeling that I should only express pride in something Ive accomplished. A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? Ive had multiple people tell me theyre proud of me like my parents, grandparents, elders but it just doesnt mean anything to me, I dont have any emotional response from any of them and my response ends up being ok or yup. . Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. (a short read). Maybe some people act in a way that makes you upset they're doing that on behalf of your country, but you just remember that's not the reason you're proud to be from where you are. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. . Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. But one doesn't want to say that they're not proud of their country if they're looking to lead it. Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. 3. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? Instead of acting out of rage over . When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel . We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? 5. These two simple words"I care"can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, but humility goes before honor. Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. Thanks to you, as well for being such a caring and supportive partner. A teacher or a mentor can be proud of their student, but you can't really be proud of your peers. While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. Great to hear this. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. The words hit me like a . My experiences with people saying they were proud of me (or at least making me aware in other ways that they were proud of me) first came from my own parents, mostly my dad. She continually updates her course with new examples and relevant material from the latest research. 3. the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. This is what makes the difference in whether the receiver feels great or resentful. Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. said Christopher Robin. Talents Compliments. I again said. I believe you. Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". Best of BBC Future. I am proud of them for being like this with one another. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. Approval is different to acceptance. Congratulations on your graduation, dear son. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. 16. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. 5. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). I admire your ability to ___________. Its very presumptuous. This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. posted by aimedwander at 4:27 PM on May 17, 2015 . This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. 3. July 7, 2020 April 21, 2018 He may not have been able to think of something better or funny so he settled for that. And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. I just graduated with my degree in hospitality." "Oh, a future barista," says the other guest, swirling his drink. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. 1. Why is this such a contentious phrase? I grew up being complimented for my looks . I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. 2. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. This is why we say, I am very happy for you! They are the one to feel proudit was THEIR accomplishment. They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. William, however, was too proud and too obstinate to lend himself to such a course. If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . If you're a friend, it's friendly. I was excited to see your reaction. Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "Im proud of you". "We will always remember. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. Thank you. 2. All Rights Reserved. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. Go To Homepage. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. Like I wasnt doing enough before?