But I recognized him right away. Sergeant Shishka: Don't insult my Army. I don't *ever* want to work for you again. Eddo. Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press. I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Waldo: You guys think you can walk all over me because I'm dumb. "Will you marry me for just one night?" 7. I didn't kiss you. Carl Otis Winslow: Tell me Harriet, before I left for work this morning, did I or did I not tell Edward to empty the trash can? Ms. Steuben: [after seeing Waldo's assignment] Waldo, this is superior work. Topics Nerd. Family Matters Quotes Rodney Beckett: Steve, come on outside. Laura: This is just a model, right? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I kept this ring in hopes that one day you would accept it. Should I be getting some Handi-Wipes? Why that low-down-cheap-bunder-headed-mud-slinging-bush-wacking-slanderous-snake-in-a-skirt is blackmailing you! Family Matters Compilation - "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up - YouTube I just caught her, that's all. Steve Urkel: Can I have a glass of milk to go with my face? Rachel Crawford: Honey, how long were you in there? Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. But you'll never play in this game again. Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, but only for one month. How would you like it if I put Jheri Curl in your deodorant? Big guys have never played keep away with your hat on a cold day. And I'll be coming home tomorrow. Harriette you're the one who said you're fat. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. There's a lot of bad pickup lines out there. Waldo Faldo: Be careful he has another one. Steve Urkel: Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. I'm starved. Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, The real Psycho Twins would have still been in the ring wrestling, If It wasn't for Your stupid sleepy juice. And him. In fact, I'm grounded. Carl: Maybe I should laugh a little bit more, huh? Daniel Wallace: Hey, man. Willie Fuffner: [Grabs Steves gloves] Urkel, you are dead meat! This semester we're Steven, you'd better get going. I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! Five hundred on the line. The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. Laura Lee Winslow: No surprise visits from Steve Urkel. Pull your gun right now. Heapingly, overflowingly, full! Got anything in the fridge? Steve Urkel: Oh, positive. Richie Crawford: We're going to play with these toys for 30 days and return them, like Uncle Carl's going to do with his peanut helmet. Clarence: Dude, you a serious little nerd. Curtis Williams: Laura, great timing. And believe you me, I know what being different is all about. The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. I got fifty bucks on the Knicks. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it really bugs me that Steve is the only guy with enough guts to stand up to Willie. Alex Phillips: How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is. And, he's got something that he didn't have before. No. Becky Sue: Oh, we couldn't do that. What do you use to get weighed, a postage scale? Carl Otis Winslow: Oh nothing, never mind! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Listen, Melissa may not be a cover girl. So go ahead, FIRE ME! Laura Lee Winslow: First you better sprout a chest. Steve Urkel: [runs back into the living room] Sorry Rachel! Steve Urkel: Don't we remind you of The Temptations? Steve Urkel: Now, relax, Eddie. Laura: Urkel, don't your parents feed you? [puts his thumb as his mouth, baby voice] If I were five. Harriette: [still unsympathetic towards Eddie's selfishess] Fair? Harriette Winslow: So Oona how are things in Altoona? Carl Otis Winslow: [Has just gotten wind of Eddie's flyer party] Edward! At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. If all you ever look for is the float with Miss America on it, then the whole parade is going to pass you by. Rachel Crawford: How 'bout double the usual? Waldo: Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes. Steve Urkel: 'Standardized Urkel Elementary Math Exam'. Carl: Are you implying that you're not having a good time? And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. Rachel Crawford: Steve!, Steve! Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, when you when you Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Bite the big one? Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? Carl Otis Winslow: I told him I was taking him over to see you. Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up. You have the right to have an attorney present. Laura Lee Winslow: If you have to ask, pass. Because, I already told him I do remember him. Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! Bye! Eddie: Isn't there somebody else you could annoy? Lady in Strip Club: Shut up and shake your booty! When's the last time you slept? I promise, okay? Cop: It's also against the law. Laura: For the last time, Steve. Laura: Steve, I can't talk now. 80+ Extremely Hot & Sexy Pick Up Lines To Use On Guys & Girls 2023 Mont gio sam eea!". Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait Wait. You should've seen the look on his face when he saw five officers surrounded my car and said Surprise! I'm finished with this witness, your honor! No one's ever called you 'shrimp'. Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral, Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't. I didn't expect you to be in there and I feel like such a worm. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Myra, your mother told me you came here, so I assumed you're becoming a nun. Just you and me. Cassie Lynn: That may be what happened, but that won't be what the people believe. Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Carl Otis Winslow: After you left, I saw your boy Fresh Squeeze at the door. The notion was apparently incongruous enough to ABC, the longtime home of the hit comedy ''Family Matters,'' which features the geeky Urkel character, that its executives . The Ethical Issues With Stefan Urquelle In Family Matters In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. Suppose I made it happen. Steve Urkel: You said, "Get a life, Steve", A week ago you would have said, "Get a life, TURBONERD". He woke me up too. Carl Otis Winslow: Come on, Harriette! steve urkel pick up linesaiken county sc register of deeds steve urkel pick up lines Steve Urkel: Could. It is not empty at all. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: O.k., but I'm not Home. Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! Oh, you're a sore for sight eyes! Steve Urkel: Laura? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why? Rachel Crawford: Oh. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Way to go Carl! Steve Urkel: Oh, nothing. Larry Csonka: Yes, spread the word. Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. Laura Lee Winslow: [as Laura Wigglesworth, pointing a gun at Johnny] The narration to finish! But just to be sure, I'm going downstairs to check the dictionary. Laura: Yeah. Besides it's just a joy ride what could go wrong? Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? Why would somebody do this to me?' Harriette Winslow: What's wrong with that? She actually said, "Human Being". Steve Urkel: Now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your number one reject? Steve Urkel: Really? You know that? Ha ha! What are you? No Traffic. 12. r/Unexpected. Ok, just give me a couple of days and I sould have it fixed. . Harriette: At my table, you eat them. Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yes, those were very confusing times. Carl Otis Winslow: [kisses the ice cream carton] Goodbye. Laura Lee Winslow: [Yelling at Judy who's trying to shove her plate in front of Eddie dishing food] Can you wait? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well now that depends, how nice of a Christmas gift do you want. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? He's fanning his hace with a plate as Eddie walks in]. Steve Urkel was the breakout character for the hit Friday night ABC sitcom "Family Matters" while Jaleel White who played him was the show's breakout star. I can turn you down without destroying your ego. You had an accident. Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. I could hear him sobbing in his suspension chamber. Seems I'm having all the luck. A small gastronomic goof up. Laura: [running in] Guess what? I have feelings. Was it fair that you stood your father up for bowling? She's mine! Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. Steve Urkel: [Runs across the couch to get away] Fine, fine, fine! "Tomorrow Dad!". Carl enters her room with Eddie, who is struggling to stifle his laughter.]. Did you think of me while you guys were camping? The Most Memorable Moments From Family Matters - Looper.com It's to another restaurant. Every time I ask her about it, she just cries and takes another Rolaid. Judge Vance: All right, young man, call your first witness. Carl Otis Winslow: [Laura comes home distraught] Laura, what happened? Steve Urkel: Actually, it was my dad who said that. Steve Urkel: Hey, I was following Eddie's instructions. Laura: Waldo, what's with Steve, he's acting wierd, even for him! Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Laura: Sure. Steve Urkel: Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! I won't be able to take you to the prom. And, my God, look what you've done to Waldo. Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Steve Urkel: I don't have to take this! I was kickin' butt. Steve Urkel: [Talking to Eddie and his girlfriend] You heard her, you're all witnesses. Right now you have over a 100 crazed teenagers in your backyard ready to boogie. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll have you know, I'm not in Italy. When's it going to end? I wanna play some of my own records on the jukebox, but I don't know how to put them in. In the current social climate that is rich with dialogue about appropriate consent between men and women, women are quite reasonably, on guard about objectification. Waldo: I said he Hey, you can't trick me! White, known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom "Family Matters," is. Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! He is portrayed by Jaleel White. Ouchith! There is no Steve here. Eddie: [while Eddie and Carl where doing wiring for the satelite dish] Be Careful with those wires Dad. Laura: Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo. no. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I'm flat broke, dad. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Hey dad. Estelle Winslow: Carl! I'll grab my stuff and I'll be out of here tomorrow. You think she'll really kiss Steve? 11 days ago. Laura: Just let me fall! The Steve Urkel NFL Draft Preview | Football Outsiders Carl Otis Winslow: Well yeah. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Laura: Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke! [Faces Eddie] Look at him, charming, handsome, popular. But Waldo messed up and put the wrong date on the flyers. Carl Otis Winslow: That boy is Looney Tunes. 89. Harriette Winslow: Before you stormed out of the house, I forgot to mention to you that I called OGD's Grandmother back in Detroit. I got a nosebleed at birth. His parents were very upset. Let's call it recycling. Carl Otis Winslow: Yep, Benjamin Banneker. [the oven explodes from the kitchen and Waldo emerges], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I think we're gonna need a new stove and a floor to put it on. Newsflash, Eddie! Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Harriette Winslow: And you meant every word 8 years ago. Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! There's no one I wanna say no to more than you. When is that party supposed to be. Look, Steve. next semester, are ya? One Now, let's read it! Carl = Son, you have disobeyed me for a woman? Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. You can do it! Boyd broke my glasses. Then, I drove you here in *my* car, and were you pleasant company? Laura Lee Winslow: [reading note] 'If you want black history, go back to Africa'. He breaks something a beaker along the way]. Now, what you do on your own time is your business. I'm sorry, call you next week? I'm not your personal doormat. Clarence has under control. Earlier Urkel's Funny Moments - YouTube Raoul is the new produce manager. Oh, yes it is! Carl Otis Winslow: There was an E.Coli scale in the chocolate and I tasted a few to make sure the box was safe. Carl Otis Winslow: I recognized him right away. [laughs]. And it's all my fault. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Freddy Krueger! Some of our pickup lines are real-life applicable. We are properly trained. What do you get when you multiply a negative by a negative? I never got an 'A' before. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. Some Sorry looking roses that are 3 hours away from potpourri. You kissed me. Harriette Winslow: [enters the house and sees Curtis] Hi. Cassie Lynn: But, it's a lie! Robber: [holding up the convenience store where Carl, Steve, and Urkelbot are undercover, threatening Carl with a gun] You! Steve is clumsy and obsessive yet charismatic and likable. Stop the music! Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. Laura: Is it my imagination or is your voice lower? April 24th, Carl, I planted this fake diary because I knew you'd read it. Who? People just love juicy gossip! Steve Urkel: Well, actually, this is Eddie's story. I kept quiet last week and I haven't say anything tonight. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I was thinking you could help me during the test. All these people think the party is tonight. Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? Robber: Oh yeah? Steve Urkel - Wikipedia Laura Lee Winslow: Now, for the championship and the toaster oven, who made the first patented shoe sewing machine? Harriette Winslow: Carl, those are my personal and private thoughts. Steve Urkel: And I'm Steve Urkel! Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. I was on the bus on the way to day camp when all of a sudden my eyes started to water and I started coughing up all this green stuff. And sometimes I was sorry I ever started the whole thing, but I didn't quit. ABC/Warner Bros Remember Steve Urkel? Carl Otis Winslow: [after picking up Eddie who was arrested for gambling] Edward, stop looking around for Steve, he's at his own home having this same conversation with his parents. And even then I knew it wasn't right. You are under arrest! Eddo. Steve Urkel - Infogalactic: the planetary knowledge core Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge. In the latter half of Family Matters, Steve started staying with the Winslows as his parents didn't want him around. [smiles]. Steve Urkel: And lose that wonderful ocean flavor? It's either a number or a letter! Why, because of you, he's swapping recipes with Wolfgang Puck. I tried to help you! Raoul asked me out, but I told him that I was happily married. Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Then Urkel shows up with Eddie and Carl and the crowd cheers for him]. Carl Otis Winslow: That's wonderful, son. We all stand nice and quiet until Gramps and Granny make it legal. Ms. Steuben: Well, I guess he's changed a little. Would you rather be buried or cremated? What's up? Wow, are you wearing a bra? I'll tell you something else, Allison, I may not be the most trendy guy on campus, or the best looking and I'm CERTAINLY not the most coordinated. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Was I ever! Richie Crawford: I can break all this stuff. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? You may be my boss, but that does not give you the right to come into my home and be obnoxious to my husband and his friends. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: No. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward Arthur Winslow, son I'm ashamed of you. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: This diary belongs to Harriette and I will not violate her privacy. I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia. I couldn't turn right around and refuse to go out with him. Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? You are such a sweetheart. But, like they say in the movie "Love Story" 'Love means never having to say I'm sorry Steve, but I'm takin' yo chick'. [leaves]. Harriette: Who cares? At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. She just slipped and I caught her. Stefan Urquelle: You can take a bus or an airplane. Here is the updated version of every line of Urkel's famous: "I've fallen and I can't get up" line from the show Family Matters.Here are the episodes in orde. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. Steve Urkel: Look, I know the pay is lousy, the hours are long, and you hardly ever get the credit you deserve. They're disgusting. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, why can't you manage money like your brother, Steve? [Waldo has just given Eddie a list of IOU at Mighty Weenie]. He created a machine that could cause items to grow in size. If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. Steve Urkel: [Rushed] That's all. Carl: Okay, you read the instructions, while I add all the pieces. Steve Urkel: [dropping his bowling ball and hyperventilating]. I Learned Steve Urkel Had Cold Lines - YouTube And the reason it hurts is because I've tried very hard to be your friend and all you've done is take advantage of me. [Grabs and kisses her. Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. He's a lawyer! When you make a mistake, fess up to it. Yesterday Richie and 3J were playing 'Nick and Carl'. This is my grandmother's wedding and $1500. Harriette Winslow: [Waldo crashes his snowmobile in the Winslows' living room] Waldo? Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's a work of Harriette, get it, Art, Harriette? If you have something to say, just spit it out. Carl Otis Winslow: Hello. Steven Quincy Urkel: [Grabs a blanket and a pillow and heads to the bathroom only to rush back out seconds later] No! Me and Laura went ice skating together. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I'm here for you, baby. It helps to determine how much help you need. I'm in college. Steve Urkel: [whispering] I bent my dagger. During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class sign. Let's trot on over there and see what develops. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Rachel Crawfish? Carl: I don't have to take this, I'm going home! "No mo giet itsu mana! then removes his hand]. Stefan Urkelle: Where did you learn all that? Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Steve Urkel: All right, Laura, we'll randeavou at the Isetta. Or are they just lame? And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. Waldo: Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names! While a miserable Eddie has to play checkers with Steve. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Big Guy, what are you up? Some of our pickup lines are just for laughs. Shen I suggested it, her lovely eyes were momentarily clouded with nausea. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. Oh, the room is spinning. Actor Jaleel White, famous for his cultural touchstone role as Steve Urkel in Family Matters, is entering the cannabis industry.Through a partnership with 710 Labs, White's new cannabis line . I can almost see what you had for lunch! He interruped my phone call meant for Laura. Rachel Crawford: Uh, Steve, would you mind coming over to the restaurant on Sunday at about 7:30? Rachel Crawford: She keeled over leading a game of Simon says! I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? Harriette Winslow: Oh no no no. Can you help me out? [Steve comes out of the freezer at Rachel's Place shivering]. Harriette Winslow: She says OGD's a great kid, but he hasn't had it easy in his life.