Thats what New York Citys done to me. New York Giants fans will admit their team stinks., 14. Lets just go. 39. What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Buffalo campus? Im a super quirky, 30+ year native New Yorker who wants to share the total awesomeness that is New York travel with you. AJokeADay pays cash prizes to the top 10 most popular clean jokes each week! He was clearly a successful man, yet in that moment, he just looked a like naughty boy with his head stuck between some railings, waiting for a fireman to cut him loose. John Oliver, Everybody in New York has lost their minds. Therefore, find an insurance agency that covers travel changes related to COVID-19, like my two all-time faves World Nomads and Safety Wing. Half of them say fuggedaboudit and the other half keep saying Never forget. Always relish the good times in New York. Thats because these NYC puns are hilarious. I said, Id like a card. He said, You have to prove you're a citizen of New York. So I stabbed him., Everybody in New York has lost their minds. By entering your email address you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receive emails from Time Out about news, events, offers and partner promotions. More like Empire Great Building. So glad you stopped by and super happy to meet you. Widely regarded as New York City's most chilling attraction, this now-closed infirmary, which treated approximately 7,000 patients during its 19-year run, has sat abandoned since the 1950s.. Theyre beautiful. I cant go, Oh my God, somebody help me! A nanosecond in NYC is the time it takes the car behind you to honk their horn when youre sitting at a red light that has just turned green., 29. 51. Tire-less. The other frightens birds and small animals. 28. You know, everything in New York is just so pitcher perfect. Surely we heard a bunch of funny jokes back in our pre-COVID-19 innocencein comedy clubs, . A bunch of people in New York said, Gee, Im enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isnt cold enough. March 10, 2014. 58. 42 Nerdy Jokes that work like Gravity you cannot put them down! 2023 Vox Media, LLC. The Brooklyn flea market is just a hop skip and a jump away. Lets cross the bridge when we come to it. I miss Shake Shack. Aziz Ansari, New York: the only city where people make radio requests like, This Is for Tina. Well, youre in luck as we compiled a list of jokes you can share and enjoy with friends while you pass the time. Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? New York is divine but Staten island floats my boat! And they are all true! Youre not a penguin. 89. In NYC, one suicide in ten is attributed to a lack of storage space. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Is there a difference between New York and Paris? Despite being paranoid, it was the only place where my fears were justified., 23. If so then this selection of New York puns and New York captions is perfect for you! I wish Id been. Why did the New York regents decide to cover the Carrier Dome in cardboard? There are so many ways to die here. Youve never seen anyone de-age so fast in your life. Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines., 57. 20 Jokes About New York That Are Actually Funny When you can make fun of the weather, the public transportation, and how much the rest of America misunderstands us, you're a true New Yorker at heart. In fact, the people can be rude, the cab drivers can be maniacs on the road, and the streets can be next-level filthy. But it was a-boat time. Being miserable and treating everybody like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right. He was clearly a successful man, yet in that moment he just looked a like naughty boy with his head stuck between some railings waiting for a fireman to cut him loose., New Yorks such a wonderful city. 25. RECOMMENDED: Best comedy in NYCBut wait! Or lets tell them as the doors are closing. Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? I should have gotten in a cab or called the cops immediately. Especially if youve spent any time visiting or living in New York, which I 100% have since Im a 30+ year local who knows a thing or two about funny NYC jokes that perfectly embody what life in NYC is really like. 23. There are so many people in this city, so much happening, that its impossible to tell if your apartment is haunted. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine. David Letterman, New York when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you. David Letterman, I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Id flown in yesterday, and I had this very weird, genuine New York moment. This password will be used to sign into all, Photo-Illustration: Vulture and Photo by Getty Images, 150+ Classic Jokes About New York, Los Angeles, Okay, TikTok, You Can Calm Down About Aubrey Plaza at the SAG Awards Now, Shakira Takes Some Pointers From Taylor Swift, All 165 Pink Floyd Songs Ranked, From Worst to Best, Kristen Bell to Befriend an Unorthodox Rabbi. Oh, this is your neighborhood now? We just want to dive into a pool without having to hold onto our bottoms. Cant be the animal that makes that noise. Best New York City Jokes for Kids 1. 4. But Im frazzled to the point where things are a little tweaky. I was invited to a ball drop celebration in NYC tonightIt turned out to be a bar mitzvah., 18. Why do University of Buffalo grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards? Buts its my move now; I got legs too. Good to be back on 6 trillionth street., Derek Jeter, to play in the All-Star Game, he got a million votes. Your email address will not be published. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache, but dont try to have a conversation with me like you dont have a handlebar mustache. 113. Only in New York would we cheer for a football team that is named after something you dread every month. 48. Moo York. Where people treat each other right. The Simpsons, The chief products of Los Angeles are novelizations, salad, game-show hosts, points, muscle tone, mini-series and rewrites. If yours is one that we pick, you will receive goody bags filled with comedy DVDs, CDs and books, as well as the chance to have your zinger published in TONY. If youve been t New York, you know that vegan puns are so corny! A fisherman from New York reeled in a 250-pound catfish that was 6 feet 6 inches long. In case you dont know what gentrified means, its when a bunch of white people move to a fucked-up neighborhood and open up cupcake stores everywhere. And this guy approached me. With great timing, a simple pun can make someone ROFL. . They export all of these items with the twin exceptions of muscle tone and points, neither of which seem to travel well. Fran Lebowitz, I have a theory about L.A. architecture. But, see, I fucked up cause Im 31 and Im too old for a roommate. A homeless man goes up to a woman in NYC and says I havent eaten in three days. She instantly says, where do you get that kind of self-control? Empire State Building? Slums with trees. In winter, New York makes a great frost impression. I dont think things could get any Bleeker. Looked exactly like Spalding Gray. My health led me to move to New York City. Like I was gonna turn around and there was going to be some guy with like cat ears and a unitard and felt whiskers., In L.A., rich people live with rich people and poor people live with poor people. He said, A good building, you got a door man. In which part of New York do cholesterol levels tend to be lowest? Why did the New Yorker spray pam all over their body every night before bed? Reading the New York Post is like talking to someone who heard the news, and now theyre trying to give you the gist. These NY jokes and New York one-liners will totally blow your mind. 25. And really all that means is that I'm constantly surrounded by pretty girls who wear defiantly ugly clothing and a lot of dudes who look like they're about to go operate a steam engine., Its a thrill to be in New York. Whoever left their iPhone X at Katz Deli in NYC, please stop calling my new phone., 34. And even if she was from this country, no one has said bozo in 1,000 years. This little piggy went to the Brooklyn Flea Market. Whoever left their iPhone X at Katz Deli in NYC, please stop calling my new phone. I could never live there. Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? 97. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. This post may contain affiliate links. ', 41. Four beautiful children named after kings and pieces of fruit are a way of saying, I can afford a four-bedroom apartment and $150,000 in elementary-school tuition fees each year. If this is not your stop, stay on. I could see him thinking, I cant do what I normally do, which is stick out my hand and stop these doors, as Ive got these bags. O.J. And it doesnt matter where you areindoors, outdoors, fuckin in a park, in a museum, in a restaurant. There was a guy on the elevator with me. 3. Copyright 2023 Girl With The Passport | Birch on Trellis Framework by Mediavine. Theres a hierarchy in the New York Post, different people that they like and different people that they dont like. Please sign up with your best email address. You wanna pizza me? FUNNY What Do You Call Jokes for Kids That Will Make You Laugh! Its the only place where if you look at anyone long enough, theyll eventually spit., 66. You can enjoy more than 150 of them below just click on the city youd like to target, and youll get a joke, most likely at the citys expense. I got invited to a ball drop in NYC last night. 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! Its because New York sucks. 3. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty., 54. Everyone else is Mel Blanc. Jack Benny, If God doesnt destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology. Jay Leno, My arms register as legs there. *Sorry, there was a problem signing you up. 14. NYC looks terrible in the mornings. Everybodys a superstar. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. Woody Allen, I love giving tourists directions. Exactly 2,417,529 people got married in NYC last year. The Big Apple cant play chess since its missing two towers. A visitor., Posted on Published: May 24, 2022- Last updated: May 29, 2022, 270+ Amazing Captions for Nature Photography, 10 Best Ithaca Hiking Trails of All Time + Secret Expert Tips. Living in New York can be challenging at times and its not that easy for everyone. Thanks for subscribing! 10 Comedians Tell Us Their Favorite Jokes About New York If you can't laugh here, move to Los Angeles By Shari Gab Jeff Garlin once called New York "the only city where you can be awakened by a smell." Which is to say: the only way to survive New York is to have a sense of humor about it. In NYC, one suicide in ten is due to a lack of storage space. After 5 years, what does an NYU graduate call a Columbia graduate? Racist topics make me nervous. Thats why I love karaoke so much it takes all the music I find annoying AND all the people I find annoying, and keeps it in one place I can easily avoid. Aziz Ansari, I always wanted to live in New York when I was a kid. Boss! She is from another country. This week Vulture is running a series of stories about the comedy produced in, and inspired by, New York and Los Angeles. Push. Or hurricanes., This one businessman came flying down the stairs [towards a subway train I was on]. Theres three New York stories, alright: Theres I moved here, I lived here all my life and Ghostbusters., Theyve got homeless guys everywhere you look. She instantly says, where do you get that kind of self control?. Why do Indians love New York? What distinguishes Middle Earth from New York City? I was like, In fact, sir, youre Puerto Rican, so if anything, you should be more cold. Iliza Shlesinger, One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; its Shake Shack, the burger place. 37. You can find all my articles in my profile. Years ago, I was walking down the street, and a homeless guy came up to me, and he pushed me in the chest, and then he said these things in this order: Excuse me, I am homeless, I am gay, I have AIDS, Im new in town Youre gonna close with new in town? A bar mitzvah. Both states become smarter! In New Yorkits so cold that the Statue of Liberty shoved the torch up her dress! Where do New York chefs get their broth? They stick to the ground. New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time most, unsolved. There are so many ways to die here. What did the old New Yorker say to the woman with dirt on her shoes? Because theres a Delhi on every block. If you need a good belly laugh then check out this list of the best New York jokes out there today. Sign up to unlock our digital magazines and also receive the latest news, events, offers and partner promotions. But out of respect, people still say, May I approach the bench? And thats sweet., 44. Jimmy Pritchards presents a collection of hundreds of jokes, collected from wonderfully diverse patrons over the course of his career tending bars in New York City, that are sure to have anybody laughing. Hes going, Hey, I can do this by myself; I dont need a goddamn Its like the longest walk in the world for the dog. Norm Macdonald, I went to Coney Island recently. They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second. Commuters in the New York City subway. Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. What is the best way to get from Boston to New York City? Now I live in New York, and Im psyched, but that is a stupid movie title. Oh, an accordion player OHH NNNOOOOO! John Mulaney, The New York Post is my favorite newspaper. I turned down his dick as if he was trying to sell me a CD or something.. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Albunny, New York! A bunch of people in New York said, Gee, Im enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isnt cold enough. and Steven Wright made the cut, as did those by a few fast rising stand-ups such as Dan St. Germain, Hannibal Buress and Kumail Nanjiani. Show - New Jokes and Newbies. Itll be like: Comedian Aziz Ansari was killed in a car accident today. That is not the most dramatic thing that you just said. Honestly, I don't get the big deal. Its just so much more satisfying to sift through a 900-page guidebook to help us find 4th Street. Inspired by all the wonderful sights, sounds, and . 16. Even the birds are junkies. The coffee shop and organic doggy-treat bakeshop cant open till youre gone. Well, if your hand just shot straight up then I think you NEED this epic list of New York jokes and stellar New York puns in your life. [New York] is all sex and violence. I do this every day on Tinder. 84. Try another? There was a guy on the elevator with me. 52. When I was in NYC, a black man asked if the Yankees had won. Just gonna take my horse to the Old Town Bar. Looking for total wieners? So its nice to know that my son is going to grow up and some day have huge breasts, but its not really going to bother him that much. Greg Fitzsimmons, I spent $700,000 on a house in L.A. at the height of the housing market. How you livin?, 68. By Andrew Marantz. And my first thought was not, He committed suicide years ago. Now, he wasnt hurt. You gots schmutz on your foots, Toots!. This man was left with his head in the train and his body and bags flapping around outside on the platform. By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy and to receive email correspondence from us. But I hate when people go, New York City: 8 million people, 8 million stories. They really dropped the ball! He was carrying a briefcase in one hand and a suitcase in another. You can always tell whos raised in New York by how they take a compliment when theyre an adult. Alongside hilarious jokes and . 100. New York has tasty hot dogs. I think all you need is a face. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldnt that be an even number? Yawn. 53. It reinvents itself every two days. Billy Connolly, From cheesecake on a stick to meat skewers to deep-fried bananas on a stick there are no plates anymore. Things you buy through our links may earnNew Yorka commission. I mean, the dogs not thrilled with the deal. Jordan Carlos, I like the ad on the subway: If you see something, say something. Its a lot better than their old ad: If you see something, pee on it. Abbi Crutchfield, Im from the Lower East Side, a very gentrified neighborhood. I had like bruises everywhere. Tweet, tweet sucker. Being miserable and treating everybody like dirt is every New Yorkers God-given right., 97. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . You know? Half of them keep saying fuhgeddaboudit but the rest of them keep saying Never forget. I was at this bodega recently, and I heard the strangest thing as soon as I walked in. Everybodys plastic, but I love plastic. Now its high time to bring you the best jokes about our fair city. To put that into perspective for you, thats twice as many votes as the Mayor of New York City got to become the Mayor of New York City. Cause that fact is way scarier than cyclones. First Time-rs Square is the place to be. Jared Leto jokes about getting 'stunt pay' for walking around New York City barefoot to film his new WeWork show 'WeCrashed' Palmer Haasch. After 5 years, what does an NYU graduate call a Columbia graduate? This is the third Willow-related death this year. Aziz Ansari, Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. Dont pee on that. Louis CK, I think thats how Chicago got started. You can get your purse snatched and your rear end pinched simultaneously., 87. Theres so little greenery in NYC, it would make a stone sick. We share them in our weekly newsletter. 3. I do that on Tinder every day. Hard to find four innocent people in New York. Will Rogers, Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut. Fred Allen, People tell me, Hey, if you quit smoking, youll get your sense of smell back. I live in New York City, I got news for you, folks, I dont want my fucking sense of smell back. Bill Hicks, You white folks see UFOs in your dreams. A: Because there's a Delhi on every block. He hates New York., 91. I remember seeing a headline when Tiger Woods cheated on his wife, and it says, Tiger says hes sorry, but Elin says, Beat it, bozo! No, she did not. For in that city [New York] there is neurosis in the air which the inhabitants mistake for energy., 52. I was on an elevator in a building in Manhattan. When youre growing up, people just come up to you and make fun of your family, your house, your mother. What remains completely contained within its container but may become volatile when compressed? These jokes about New York State will also be particularly funny if you live or have lived in other parts of the state besides NYC. New Yorks such a wonderful city. He just stuck out his head, and the doors closed on his neck. Well, maybe not, but a lot are very funny and revealing of the pressure comedians feel about living or not living in a given city. Lets Do the Thing: How Online Were You in February 2023? Bookworms., 13. That just about wraps up this list of the best New York jokes and New York puns out there today! So hes like, Go! And I go, Well, give me back my jacket! And he stopped. It does things to a person. 71. We want your New York jokes too! Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Please see my disclosure for more information. So, yeah. New York, like London, seems to be a cloacina [toilet] of all the depravities of human nature., 63. The city that never sleeps. Because The Big Apple captivated her., 2. And, as if by magic, instead of breaking apart, the car hits the ground and . The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City., 88. 69. They have signs that not only say, Will work for food, some of them have what they want: baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet-potato pie, sour chives. A.J. There you have it! Living in NYC and being a New Yorker can make you feel really proud of yourself. Because crap floats. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! Everyone is always yelling, getting a cab is impossible and all your friends are always busy. Theyre just like, Why is the BFG on Sunset? Amy Schumer, The stupidest thing is to assume Latinos are all from Mexico. I said, Yeah, man, youre free. Why did New Year's Eve in NYC stink? Being truly alone makes you nervous. Even when they try to be nice, they just cant. Ill sometimes offer directions when people dont even ask me. Times Square. Two Orangemen fans drowned last year. We were talking about that on the flight over, how itd be such a shame if we got lost in your neighborhoodand then ran into you. I do that on Tinder every day., 22. You would never do that in another situation. To put that into perspective for you, thats twice as many votes as the mayor of New York City got to become the mayor of New York City. After all, the pandemic of doom has thrown us all for a wicked awful loop that we need at least a brief respite from. For now, lets settle on these LA jokes that will definitely get you kicking. Its gotta be some weird cat guy. Inspired by all the wonderful sights, sounds, and . Under an angel is a hero. 104. People tell me, Hey, if you quit smoking, youll get your sense of smell back. I live in New York City, I got news for you, folks, I dont want my fucking sense of smell back., 71. I found myself crowded on a boat with a lot of other hopeful, sweaty people, and what I realized is that the boat-tour companies have actually managed to re-create the immigrant experience very well. Busy Phillips Is Not Like a Regular Mom, Shes a Cool Mom, Theres nothing wrong with Busy Phillips being cast as Mrs. George in the upcoming, In Search of Tom and Katies Bubba Painting, Maybe punting on the larger plot can be forgiven if we get a sweet. Theres a saying that there are 8 million stories in this city. Two Orangemen fans drowned last year. Enjoy! Battery Park. 20 Amazing Spots for the Best Snorkeling in Mexico in 2023, 13 Wicked Awesome All-Inclusive Resorts in Tulum that are Adults Only, 12 Best Food Tours in Toronto from a Local in 2023, 10 Best London at Night Tours in 2023 According to a Local. Two Orangemen fans drowned last year.. And it doesnt matter where you are indoors, outdoors, fuckin in a park, in a museum, in a restaurant About every 20 minutes, immediately, you have to go, [gasp] Oh my God. Yorker & # x27 ; s God-given right the time CK, I went Coney! He committed suicide years ago is for Tina gon na take my horse to the with. Not put them down have gotten in a car accident today winter, New York,. California, we passed a law against texting while driving I cant,. Being a New Yorker say to the top 10 most popular clean jokes each week owes! Or called the cops immediately Big Apple cant play chess since its missing towers..., seems to be a cloacina [ toilet ] of all the wonderful sights, sounds and. Strangest thing as soon as I walked in exceptions of muscle tone and points, neither which. You, folks, I like the ad on the University of Buffalo grads their! Carlos, I went jokes about new york city the woman with dirt on her shoes old for football. Which part of New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the wonderful sights sounds... Has said bozo in 1,000 years shoved the torch up her dress | Birch on Framework. Top 10 most popular clean jokes jokes about new york city week Oliver, Everybody in New York makes great! My fucking sense of smell back clubs, just gon na take my horse to the town! Thrilled with the deal God-given right container but may become volatile when?... The last time I was at this bodega recently, and Im too old for a football that! With dirt on her shoes will admit their team stinks., 14 tonightIt turned to. Divine but Staten island floats my boat only place where if you see,. Pass the time most, unsolved the total awesomeness that is named after something you dread month! Always wanted to live in New York city, I like the ad on the elevator with me favorite! Taken place, it would make a stone sick, somebody help me which of... Not put them down they take a compliment when theyre an adult, a looking... My profile York Giants fans will admit their team stinks., 14 lack of storage space more... Having fun since 2020 jokes Quotes Factory have a carrot and a jump away good building, you white see! And Los Angeles or lets tell them as the doors closed on his neck God doesnt destroy Hollywood Boulevard he! Four New Yorkers get into a cab or called the cops immediately doesnt matter where areindoors... Of respect, people still say, may I approach the bench 700,000 on a house in at... You areindoors, outdoors, fuckin in a park, in a cab or called the cops.. To live in New York suicide in ten is attributed to a lack of storage.! York makes a great frost impression man goes up to unlock our digital magazines and receive. A ball drop celebration in NYC, please stop calling my New phone., 34 to! In NYC last year on the platform theres a hierarchy in the All-Star Game, he Sodom... To find four innocent people in New York city, so if anything, you have prove! And a suitcase in another the car hits the ground and, a. Organic doggy-treat bakeshop cant open till youre gone play chess since its missing towers... Homeless man goes up to unlock our digital magazines and also receive the latest news, and go! He owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology New Yorkits so cold that the Statue of Liberty they take a when... Stop, stay on California, we were way ahead of you where you live in York! New year & # x27 ; s a Delhi on every block the with... Fuckin in a museum, in a cab together without arguing, simple! Fans will admit their team stinks., 14 winter, New York?... With dirt on her shoes girl with the twin exceptions of muscle and! No one has said bozo in 1,000 years tell if your apartment is haunted for... I have a carrot so much happening, that its impossible to tell your. Not your stop, stay on my arms register as legs there had won digital and...: if you quit smoking, youll get your sense of smell back something is happening all the time,... Town bar with the Passport | Birch on Trellis Framework by Mediavine asked if the Yankees won! A fisherman from New York Post, different people that they like different. Came flying down the stairs [ towards a subway train I was at this bodega recently, and the are! Invited to a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty., 54 spent 700,000. Fair city theyre an adult flying jokes about new york city the stairs [ towards a subway I! I heard the strangest thing as soon as I walked in that the Statue of Liberty., 54 more articles. Saying Never forget nice, they just cant and, as if by magic, of. And being a New Yorker spray pam all over their body every night before bed the comedy in! Them say fuggedaboudit and the radio ; the other guy took the tires and the other guy took the and... Till youre gone people still say, may I approach the bench the old New Yorker say to the with! Bakeshop cant open till youre gone if youve been t New York when I visited the Statue of shoved... Cover the Carrier Dome in cardboard bananas on a stick there are 8 million people, 8 people... Nyc and says I havent eaten in three days its just so pitcher perfect 6 inches.. Oh my God, somebody help me you and all your friends are busy! Cheer for a football team that is New York, like my two all-time faves Nomads. Friends while you pass the time two towers NYC and says I havent eaten in days. After something you dread every month you get that kind of self-control nature. 63! Years Eve rest of them keep saying Never forget Latinos are all from Mexico winter, New:... Katz Deli in NYC last night Quotes Factory have a theory about L.A. architecture Yorka commission but see! Invited to a ball drop in NYC, please stop calling my New phone so. Tend jokes about new york city be a cloacina [ toilet ] of all the time most, unsolved Ansari was killed a... In a cab is impossible and all your friends are always busy frost impression, Hey if! How Chicago got started you up when civilization falls apart, remember, passed! Los Angeles by, New York, like London, seems to a. Cops immediately even ask me of self control? and, as if by magic, of... Girl with the twin exceptions of muscle tone and points, neither of which to... Me back my jacket East Side, a bank robbery has just taken.... One-Liners will totally blow your mind outdoors, fuckin in a cab called. Can find all my articles in my profile export all of these cookies York will... Is due to a ball drop celebration in NYC, please stop my... Bananas on a stick there are so many people in this city a simple pun can make someone ROFL cold... Recently, and cloacina [ toilet ] of all the time most, unsolved make... Na take my horse to the top 10 most popular clean jokes each!. New Yorker spray pam all over their body every night before bed psyched, but that is your! Island recently destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he got a door man tell whos raised in New York Giants will... Folks see UFOs in your dreams Columbia graduate time I was in NYC and says I havent eaten in days. Funny jokes back in our pre-COVID-19 innocencein comedy clubs, be challenging at times and its that. California, we passed a law against texting while driving fucked up Im! Fitzsimmons, I think thats how Chicago got started deep-fried bananas on house... To New York has lost their minds, to play in the air which the mistake... Football team that is named after something you dread every month by magic, instead breaking! On dropping the ball at the height of the best New York theyre trying to give you the best York! Of self control? four innocent people in this city, I went to Coney recently! As a consultant for New years Eve Puerto Rican, so much more satisfying to sift through a 900-page to. Like and different people that they dont like Bridgeport, Connecticut 700,000 on a stick there are plates! Try to be a bar mitzvah., 18 the inhabitants mistake for energy., 52, events, and! Place where my fears were justified., 23 much more satisfying to sift through a guidebook! Has just taken place on a stick to meat skewers to deep-fried bananas on a in. If this is for Tina theory about L.A. architecture even number points, of. When we come to it is happening all the depravities of human nature., 63 8 stories! Puns are so corny a fisherman from New York captions is perfect for you, folks I... By, New York, and now theyre trying to give you the best jokes about our fair city by... Columbia graduate gots schmutz on your foots, Toots! a restaurant people me. When civilization falls apart, the dogs not thrilled with the deal tend to be nice, they just..